Mediocrity: A Rant

I might be an incredibly naïve person.

There are lots of people who wouldn't describe me this way, but those who know me best know that, at heart, I'm an optimist. I do genuinely believe that everything will work out for the best. Sometimes this is incredibly silly and it can be terribly hard to hang onto, but it's the way my brain is wired, so it's what I think.

My childhood was full of people telling me I could do anything I wanted to do, and I can't thank them enough for that now. Even when I wasn't particularly good at something, no one around me would ever discourage my attempt. As an adult, I know the impulse is to protect kids from making fools of themselves - as a teacher I've been guilty of this myself - but as a kid I relished the opportunity to try things for myself. If they didn't work out, well, I generally figured out something about myself or my limitations, but I figured it out on my own.

As an adult, I understand that the world places an incredible premium on money. Those who have it are somehow worth more than those who don't. Let's be honest: I'm a teacher - I don't have all the money, but it's never been what's most important to me. The concept that 'those who can't do, teach'? It's incredibly offensive, and yet it's staring in my face all the time: at parent-teacher conferences, in universities, in a casual conversation with friends or at a bar. 'Oh, you're a teacher? What did you really want to be? A writer? An actress? You're pretty smart. You could make more money doing something else, you know.'

Yes, I do know. I also know that teaching is my gift and my passion. Money is not, and it never has been. If it were, I definitely would have made different choices; I am smart enough for that. Making more money does not inherently make someone smarter, more deserving, more educated, more talented, or more anything, really. Because how did all the major money-makers of the world get to where they are? Someone taught them what they needed to know.

Recently a friend said to me that 'a completely fulfilled life isn't possible' and 'I long ago accepted the mediocrity of my life.' On one hand, it would probably be smart to agree with my friend. Expecting to get the best from all aspects of life is overly optimistic and, probably, unlikely. On the other, this is heartbreaking. I will not accept that mediocrity is what I deserve. I would never expect that for my students or my friends, and I won't expect it for myself. Mediocrity is not what my family raised me to expect. Mediocrity is not what I uprooted myself from a very comfortable life in Minnesota and moved across an ocean to seek. I will not accept that mediocrity is the best I can achieve.

And why should I? There is a point when settling for less is probably the prudent course, but I don't have any idea when that will be for me. I am a teacher because I want to be, and I'm really good at my job. I will continue to look for happiness and fulfilment in all aspects of my life because that's what I deserve. And why would I dare to let anyone tell me differently?

Perhaps I'm naïve. Maybe I'm just stubborn. I know that I can't honestly tell students to pursue their dreams if I don't continue to do it myself. And maybe the refusal to settle will doom me to a life spent alone in the quest of something ... more. I'll be honest; I'd rather that than know I settled for less than I deserve. As a teacher, my students require a better example. As a person, so do I.